Reconnecting After 20 Years – Overcoming Networking Doubts & Uncertainties
The Momentum Files #47
Hesitant to reconnect? Flip the script & overcome networking uncertainty.
“… but we haven’t spoken in over twenty years! Is it ok for me to reach out?!”
My client, Amy, asked me this question during a coaching session. She wanted to reach out to a former colleague and pick her brain about a potential new job she was pursuing.
Amy’s hesitation was fueled by thoughts you might have yourself in this situation:
➡️ What would I say?
➡️ Is it inappropriate or selfish to reach out after so long?
➡️ What if they don’t remember me and don’t respond?
➡️ Do I have anything to offer in return to make reconnecting beneficial for both of us?
➡️ What if my reaching out is seen as intrusive or pushy?
Can you relate? Have you ever hesitated to reach out and connect with someone for these – or other – reasons?
I certainly have. But networking and connecting with people in my community has become one of my favorite passions! I deeply and truly enjoy getting to know people and developing genuine relationships. There are fantastic benefits to this, but there is also the joy of engaging with my network.
Another passion is connecting people in my network with each other… because I believe that we’re stronger and better together… exactly what led me to create Career Club – making it easier for you to connect with other professionals, explore opportunities to collaborate, advance your career and build a supportive network.
But back to Amy!
I told her that she should ABSOLUTELY reach out to her former colleague – even though they were now separated by TWO DECADES.
To help her, I suggested that she flip the script by asking herself two questions.
And I’m recommending you do the same any time you’re hesitant to reach out to someone.
How would you feel if this person reached out to you?
How would you respond to them?
Amy said she’d be thrilled to hear from her former colleague – someone she very much enjoyed working with – and would find it so enjoyable to catch up and share what she could to be helpful.
As soon as Amy flipped the situation around, her uncertainty, anxiousness and worry evaporated. She suddenly felt confident and prepared to reach out and reignite their connection. I mean, I could actually hear (we were on the phone having our coaching call) the change in her voice. Her attitude shifted and became more positive. I could tell that she was smiling and excited about this newfound openness to reach out!
She did reach out. And her former colleague was overjoyed to hear from her! They had a fun conversation and shared insight and helpful information about Amy’s potential job opportunity.
A few more things to keep in mind when you reach out to connect and network.
➡️ Be considerate. Think about the other person before you reach out. See if you can find out what they’ve been up to and ask about it when you speak or see each other.
➡️ Be patient. People have busy lives, and they might not get back to you right away.
➡️ Be unstoppable. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t hear back. If someone doesn’t respond to you, that’s ok! It’s almost never personal, so don’t let it derail your efforts to connect with more people!
Human connection is such an important component to professional growth.
It’s an opportunity to build mutual respect and admiration. It creates environments that are supportive and encouraging… boosting your confidence and allowing you to push past your comfort level and explore exciting career opportunities.
There is joy in this.
So the next time you’re feeling like Amy and wondering if you should reach out, what to say, what to do, etc., remember this…
The simple act of flipping the script will instantly give you the confidence and clarity you need to overcome the doubt and uncertainty and enjoy (YES, I said ENJOY) connecting with your community.
Even if it’s been a while.
I want to offer you a little something to show how much I appreciate connecting with you!
Why, you ask? Because you being a part of my network means a great deal to me. Taking the time to read my newsletters, reaching out on occasion, allowing me to be even a small part of your day… it’s something I never take for granted and value immensely.
I’m opening 10 spots to have a Virtual Coffee Date with me. This is a free and casual 30-minutes we can spend together in a number of ways. We can catch up, you can ask me a question, you can share an update or some good news that’s got you excited, pick my brain about something career-related… whatever you’d like! We’ll keep it low-key, sales-free and packed with connection.
These spots are open to the first 10 people who book here.
I really hope you take me up on my offer to reconnect, catch up and converse!
And then - I’d love to hear what you think about networking in general and what challenges/feelings come up for you! Reply to this email and tell me what’s on your mind. I’d be honored to hear from you.