Feeling like a fraud?
The Momentum Files #22
“They’re going to see it. Any minute now, they’re going to realize that I don’t belong in this position. I don’t know how I got this job, but I didn’t deserve it, and they all know it!”
Hello, imposter syndrome!
If you have your own relationship with imposter syndrome, then you’re familiar with the toxic things it brings into your life – like self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy and a fear of being exposed as a fraud. And it has the power to paralyze your progress despite indisputable evidence of your competence, skills and accomplishments.
I’ve heard imposter syndrome explained in many ways, but for me, it’s like cowering in a corner of a pitch-black room – knowing that at any moment, someone will force open the door, flip on the lights, see you at your most vulnerable, point an accusatory finger and victoriously shout, “Ah ha! I knew you were a fraud! I knew you weren’t good enough for [that promotion, that recognition, that pay raise, that new job offer, to lead that project, etc.]!”
What does it feel like for you? How does it show up in your life? Maybe you …
❓ agonize over the smallest mistakes and perceived flaws
❓ overwork yourself to compensate for feelings of inadequacy
❓ compare yourself to others and feel that you don’t measure up
❓ battle a persistent fear of failure
❓ combat feeling “less than” and incompetent after losing your job
❓ struggle to accept compliments because you don’t feel deserving
❓ avoid new challenges and exciting opportunities because you think you’re not good enough, smart enough, knowledgeable enough, capable enough, etc.
There’s good news here. When you recognize imposter syndrome and how if affects you, you can minimize (or eliminate!) its power over you – and actually use it to your advantage!
The first step is to figure out your imposter syndrome type (you might fall into more than one category):
👉 The Perfectionist: If you’re not perfect, you beat yourself up. You feel that your attempts were not right, not good enough and fell flat. You often feel that you could have and should have done more … and done it better.
👉 The Expert: You feel the pressure to know everything someone could possibly know about your job and how to excel in the role. You feel the need to have ALL the credentials or risk being outed as a fraud. You are constantly consuming every bit of knowledge you can get your hands on.
👉 The Natural Genuis: You thrive on getting things done quickly – and getting them done right the first time. It’s a natural ability – your superpower! But when that doesn’t happen, you feel like an imposter.
👉 The Soloist: Like the Natural Genuis, the Soloist prefers to work alone. Asking others for help leaves you feeling vulnerable and like a bright light is shining on your inability to do something on your own. If you need help, you must not be good enough.
👉 The Superperson: You take pride in being the hardest worker and an overachiever. You feel pressure to prove that there is nothing you can’t handle. You fear and avoid stepping away from your work to focus on personal fulfillment.
When imposter syndrome is holding you back, here’s what you can do to tame it!
✅ Talk about it! You’ll soon realize that you’re not alone (let me repeat that - you are not alone! Trust me when I say everyone experiences imposter syndrome at one time or another), and have people to reach out to for support, ideas and encouragement.
✅ Build connections. Create a support network and meet now and then to discuss challenges, normalize talking about imposter syndrome and applaud successes (big and small!).
✅ Challenge your doubts. When your inner imposter gets the self-doubt flowing, find the facts! Ask yourself what facts support your limiting belief. Did you get a promotion and feel you didn’t deserve it? Remember what your manager actually said to you at that time. Did you prepare and interview for a new job and receive a job offer? Yes? Sounds like you are qualified and deserved that new opportunity. Always aim to separate the facts and evidence from the doubts and assumptions.
✅ Avoid comparison! When you gain clarity around your unique traits and abilities, your need to compare evaporates. No matter how many others are doing what you do, you’ve got your own special thing going on and deserve to be succeeding!
✅ Make a brag file. If there is ONE thing that you start doing right away, THIS is IT! Keep a growing list of your strengths and accomplishments. Include anything that will make you feel good when imposter syndrome is trying to drown you in doubt. Take this list out whenever you need it – even daily! – and remember what you’ve done, what nice things people have said about you, the times you were able to help someone, etc. Use the list to remind yourself that you are enough. You are deserving. And you are the real deal.
The next time you feel like somebody is about to barge into your space, point a finger and scream “Ah ha! I knew you weren’t good enough!” remember what you’ve just read and that you have the power to tame imposter syndrome and prevent it from holding you back.
You are good enough. And you have more power than you think.
When’s the last time imposter syndrome had you swimming in self-doubt? Will you reply and share your experience? I’d love to know!