You See What You Look For

The Momentum Files #20

You See What You Look For

So many shoes.

It was last summer, and both my son and daughter were back home for a short time.

I was loving it and enjoying the reminder of what it’s like having both kids at home. Then I walked downstairs and saw all the shoes that had been dumped right in the middle of the hallway.

While part of me wanted to scream out to them, “Oh my gosh, pick up the darn SHOES!” I realized that this moment presented me with a choice.

I could focus on the stress-inducing shoe pile (I mean, come on, at least throw ‘em in a closet!) - or on enjoying the rare opportunity to have my kids back home with me and under the same roof – even for a short time.

I chose to enjoy the opportunity – knowing that it was a special one that wouldn’t come back around for a while.

Here’s why this is important to you and your career.

What holds your attention holds you.

You’ve probably heard this said in other ways:

👉 You see what you look for.

👉 Energy flows where attention goes.

👉 The more good things you look for, the more good things you’ll see.

Your perceptions, the thoughts you have, the words you speak, the pictures you form in your head are what make your reality.

And when you focus on the negative, it can lead to lower productivity, sinking morale, less confidence, less risk-taking, missing out on promotions, not speaking up and asking for what you need, lack of clarity and not allowing people to discover the great things about you.

What you focus on determines what you can accomplish.

If you’re stuck in negative thoughts, one of the best ways to change how you feel is to change what you focus on.

Here’s an example:

You reach out to someone to connect and network – and you don’t hear back.

You think this is validation that you’re not good enough, that this person doesn’t like you or see as someone worthy of a reply, that you were fooling yourself to think you could master this networking thing, etc.

In reality, this person might be on vacation, busy or not the greatest at keeping up with email and LinkedIn messages.

Remember. Your mind will look for proof of the things that you believe about yourself. So if you’re repeatedly telling yourself that you’re not good enough, your mind will find ways to validate those self-limiting thoughts.

The next time you find yourself focusing on the negative (or a big messy pile of shoes), try this:

  • Notice that you’re focusing on the negative – and go easy on yourself – this is perfectly normal!

  • Use direct, proactive, intentional awareness to discover the thing or belief that is holding you back.

  • Look for the truth in this discovery. (Ask yourself, “is this true?”, “what proof do I have this is true?”).

  • Recalibrate your perspective.

  • Find the gift in it. Find the positive. This is what allows you to move forward boldly.

How do you shift focus away from negative thinking and put your energy into seeing the good? Reply and tell me about it!

Cindy Haba