Unleash your confidence!

The Momentum Files #25

4 things to avoid & where to put your focus instead.

Nothing crushes confidence like transition.

Starting a new job, preparing for a career move, putting yourself out there to network (gulp!)… the list goes on and on! When you open yourself up to new things, self-doubt and uncertainty come creeping to the surface – and your confidence takes a hit.

But these times are the times when you want to feel capable, in control, accomplished and successful.

When you’re low on confidence, you hold yourself back.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to pick up the phone and make an important networking call when I need a confidence boost. Who wants to ask for that raise or take any huge step forward when not feeling top of game?

Confidence is key. And it comes from doing – not thinking.

You can’t simply think your way to more confidence. It comes after you do the thing.

Building confidence is an ongoing process that requires you to know what to avoid – and where to put your focus. I want to help you do both!

Avoid the things on this list.

➡️ Interruptions.

Every single time you’re interrupted, you lose momentum and flow. You momentarily stop being engaged in that important thing you’re doing and are not honoring the time you wanted to devote to that project or task.

Here’s what helps: Respect yourself (and your time!) by setting boundaries and letting others know what times are off-limits. Stay in your interruption-free bubble however you can - turn off your phone, close the door, get some work done at Starbucks (a personal favorite!), etc.

➡️ People who don’t respect your boundaries.

When you’re working, you might not always look busy. I might be sitting perfectly still – quietly staring at my computer screen. To someone else, I might look like I’m napping with my eyes open. But I’m actually working, thinking and strategizing. You might not look busy, but that’s not an invitation for people to come and interrupt you.

Here’s what helps: Condition people to respect your boundaries. To be fair, we can’t expect everyone to magically know what boundaries we have in place. But with a little conditioning and repetition, we’ll get our point across. When people are demanding your time and pulling you away from what you need to do, ask them to honor the time you’ve set aside to do what needs to get done.

➡️ Non-intentionality.

Be intentional. When you’re not intentional, you simply don’t get the best results.

Here’s what helps: Decide what you want to accomplish in a set amount of time – and be specific. Saying you’re going to do some networking? Not enough. Saying you’re going to make 7 networking calls in the next 2 hours? Hello, results! Be sure to block out your time to work as well as time to take breaks, grab a coffee, walk your dog, make a phone call, stretch your legs, etc.

➡️ Mis-measurement.

One of the biggest roadblocks to building confidence is (drumroll!)… comparing yourself to other people! This paves the way to self-doubt, frustration and staying stuck where you are.

Here’s what helps: Measure where you are against where you used to be. This is how you see your progress and continue to grow, advance, transition and move forward. If you struggle with comparison, you will love this blog post about the gap and the gain!!

Focus on these things instead:

➡️ Awareness & Planning

When you feel your confidence fading, acknowledge it, silence it and replace it. This is a mental discipline that requires practice and consistent attention.

➡️ Confidence Boosters

When you think about things you enjoy doing, things you are good at, things that you love – your confidence spikes. Think about – and DO – these things! Do less of anything that strips your confidence away.

➡️ Personal Strengths

Spend more time celebrating your strengths than dwelling on your weaknesses. This makes you feel good AND builds confidence that carries over to other areas of your life.

Remember, your confidence will grow from doing – not thinking. When you know what to avoid – and where to put your focus – you’ll unleash your confidence!

So, tell me, when was the last time your confidence needed a big boost? Reply and let me know!